totes magotes

Since graduating (as I’m now preferring to call it) to unemployment, I’ve realized that being a blogger at large requires some heavy lifting — literally.  Check out all the shit I’m hefting around in order to get all my business T.C.O.’d these days:

Planner, laptop, sketchbook, notebook, drawing tools, camera, tripod, mouse, tablet, various chargers and other corded ephemera — and this isn’t even including all the standard girl crap I lug around with me on a daily basis (you know — keys, phone, wallet, four pairs of sunglasses, sixteen lipsticks, the usual).  I’ve always been a purse girl but clearly it’s time for something heavier duty.  I need a killer tote bag.

So the search hath begun.  Here are my favorites:

1.) New Museum x Dan Colen “Holy Shit” tote, £15.00, Culture Label
2.) Dimepiece “Go To Hell” tote, $25, Karmaloop
3.) Motel “Summer Leopard” tote, $20, Karmaloop
4.) 6×6 by No. 6 rope tote, $20, Urban Outfitters
5.) Bon Matin “Skeleton No 1” tote, $15, Supermarket
6.) Soraam big bow canvas tote, $24, Supermarket
7.) “Lightspeed” tote, $20, DarkDays
8.) “Bag of Tricks” tote, £12.00, Alphabet Bags
9.) Patti Smith tote, $15.99, badassbags4u
10.) Decapitated heads tote, $18, Camputee

onward & upward

On Monday afternoon I was let go from my job after over five years there.  Needless to say, it was a shock, and now at a month shy of 26 I find myself navigating the uncertain waters of unemployment — or, as my friends who have been in the same boat for considerably longer have optimistically, if not a little ironically, taken to calling it, Funemployment. Today is the second day of the rest of my life, and it’s a pretty surreal adjustment.

So, here I am, splayed out on my boyfriend’s couch at 10:30 on a Wednesday, sipping coffee with all my tattoos out, where for the last half-decade at this time I’ve been wearing heels and a headset, frantically answering phones and attempting to keep an office running.  It feels sad and strange, but I can’t say it’s not also kind of liberating.

My psychiatrist recently told me that I have a real skill at constructing barriers for myself. Now, faced with an unforeseen stretch of free time, I realize that my job might have been my biggest barrier. I liked working there, and I took pleasure in my efficiency, but I never wanted to be a secretary, you know?  But let’s face it, I thought — I’m a community college dropout, so this was the best I could do, and so I pushed my deeper aspirations to the side, claiming I was too busy and too tired. What had been intended to be a backup plan had become simply the plan, and though I was definitely beginning to experience a sense of ennui at my office job, I think I had resigned myself to it, telling myself that one day I’d find the drive to move forward and pursue my creative endeavors. But honestly, if I hadn’t been fired, I don’t think I ever would have. My job was a wall I’d built in front of myself.

Although I’m completely fucking terrified, I’m trying to look at this whole situation as the kick in the ass I need to really try to do what I want with my life.  In a way, the timing couldn’t be better: with the advent of my personal attempt at achieving “radical self-love,” this is the perfect opportunity for me to really see if I have it in me to change my own life, to pursue my real dreams, and to hopefully never be a secretary again.

I’m grateful, then, that I have Cartoon Heart to turn to with all my ruminations. Over the next few weeks I have a feeling you’ll see my blog get more personal as I attempt to figure out what I’m doing with myself. I really appreciate your patience as I rebuild my toolbox (my graphics and editing programs were on my work computer) as well as my life.  As a blogger I’ve always hoped to be relateable, open and honest with my readers, and now I’m openly asking for any advice you guys can offer me as I work everything out. Thanks for sticking by me.

I’m ready to make a huge positive change in my life, and I think this is my opportunity to do it.

valentine in july

That’s what I feel like today…

I like this pink striped miniskirt; since it’s pretty body-skimming I kept things conservative up top:

Forever 21 miniskirt, H&M button-up shirt, Report flats, Banana Republic studded bar necklace, Classic Hardware heart charm bracelet, Forever 21 patent belt.

I’ve got Fing’rs Edge press-ons on again today, this time sheer with pink and black argyle-patterned tips.  Decorative French tips sorta make me feel like a softcore porn actress, but at the same time I kind of like that whole cheesy vibe.

Over the weekend I also tried out another 99¢ brand of crackle nail polish, Santee Shatter in neon pink, on my toes:

I think this brand might be my favorite of all the crackle polishes I’ve tried; the pattern comes out just right.  I painted it on over Sally Hansen Insta-Dri in Petal Pusher.

a realizable fantasy

Usually when I draw up fantasy outfits they’re just that — fantasies comprised of items I’ve seen online that I totally want but definitely don’t have.

But! A couple of nights ago I was zoning out in the general direction of my clothes rail, and a couple of pieces caught my eye. I could totally put those two things together and it would look really cute, I thought.  I haven’t done it yet, but here’s what I’m thinking:

Small hearts on a sheer cream blouse plus big hearts on a tan skirt? I think it works, and I’m probably going to try it out this weekend.  The shoulder bag is actually a canvas military ammo tote I got for like $6 at the army/navy surplus, and the clogs are my trusty Jeffrey Campbell Charli-C’s, which I still love over a year later.

lost in translation

Man, sometimes things just don’t look as cute in photos as they do in person.  I think that’s the case today, because in the mirror I think this outfit looks pretty sharp, but in pictures it looks a little…I don’t know.  What do you think?

I swear, it looks cute.  This is a Mossimo for Target dress with an old Forever 21 tuxedo jacket on top, Forever 21 ankle socks and NYLA studded peeptoes.

My poor little nails are suffering due to my new addiction to press-ons, so I’m giving them a break today:

The magenta glitter is Zoya in Nova, and the silver glitter accent nails are Justin Bieber for Nicole by OPI in Make U Smile. Yes, I own Justin Bieber nail polish (two shades, in fact). No, I am not ashamed. I also saw “Never Say Never” in theatres. In 3D. And I liked it too.

more stuff i like

1.) First off, currently obsessed with my Married To The Mob “420” romper, which I scored for ten bucks off PLNDR (and which I’m wearing here with cheapo swapmeet shades and $5 Mossimo canvas lace-ups from Target).  I pretty much only buy things if they are on deep, deep sale these days.

2.) This “Damn Fine Day” screenprint by Alisa Bobzien would be a welcome addition to my bedroom wall — a little positive reinforcement never hurt anyone, especially not at 6:10 AM.

3.) The message on this drapey tee from Asian supersite YesStyle is simple and to the point: “Love Me.”

4.) Speaking of love, how adorable is this 3D-printed nylon plastic BECAUSE U LOVE ME ring from ArchetypeZ?  The band is the word “BECAUSE,” and the “stone” is made up of the rest of the phrase, with the L-word front and center.

5.) I guess I have love on the brain because I also love these teeny little gold-rimmed heart earrings from ASOS.

6.) This bejeweled and beribboned Betsey Johnson leopard might be the funnest knuckle ring I’ve seen yet (and yes, I know “funnest” is not a word, but how else can you describe this?).

7.) The clever title on this chic little Archie Grand journal says EXCESSES I HAD AND LIKED, but if that doesn’t tickle your fancy there are 27 other categories to choose from — everything from “Faux Pas I Made And Liked” to “Lovers I Had And Liked” to “Secret Agents I Met And Liked” (it might take you a while to fill that one, though).

8.) I’m always looking for the next mascara that promises to make my eyelashes look like a drag queen’s, and I hear good things about this really cutely-designed Fairy Drops Scandal Queen mascara coming outta Japan.

9.) For fall I’m thinking I’m going to want a pair of menswearish loafers, and the tassels and ultra-bright color on this pair by KLASS via Topshop really appeal to me — and I think they’d look cute with shorts for the seasonal transition, too.

10.) I’m a dog person by nature, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think this plastic kitty cat barrette from France Luxe isn’t completely charming in a kindergarten kind of way.

hello kitty nails!

I just realized I never showed you guys my nails from over the weekend! This is one for the lazy/tacky/cute files, for sure.

Make that really lazy, super tacky, and obscenely cute.  My roommate picked up this Hello Kitty press-ons for me at Target on Friday.  They came in a two-pack (the other set is candy-pink stripes with HK’s bows printed on top).  Aren’t they adorable?

I don’t see the nails I have on the Target website, but they do have some other cute Sanrio press-ons for super cheap!  They’re made for little kids, of course, but if you have tiny baby hands like I do you’re in luck.